The other day my husband and I took a drive up in the mountains. We're very blessed to live so close to such beautiful scenery, which is only prettier this time of year with the golden light and the colorful leaves. Plus it's always nice to get out of the hustle and bustle of this city for a while and just take a breath.
I've been thinking a lot today about false compliments. If you're a fat girl, there's pretty much a 99% chance you know what I'm talking about here. You've heard the "you have such a pretty face" and "no, you're not fat, you're beautiful" and (my personal favorite) "there's just more of you to love!" In my opinion, the basic rule here is that true compliments do not have a conditional clause. No one looks at a gorgeous mountain view and says "sure is pretty for a rock." Of course not!
You look at a gorgeous mountain view and call it what it is-- beautiful. Compliments should work the same way. When you tell someone she's "not fat, she's beautiful" you are making the statement that those two things are mutually exclusive. That she cannot possibly be both fat and beautiful, because fat is in its very nature repulsive and lazy and whatever other negative connotations we're taught.
That's simply not the case. I am fat and beautiful, just like I'm also funny, happy, and smart. Stop telling people they have such "a pretty face"-- as if the rest of them isn't stunning too! If you can't give a sincere compliment that is one hundred percent genuine, then just keep your mouth shut. YES, that sounds mean, and YES, I mean it!
More than that you should understand that people do not exist just to give you something nice to look at. So what if I'm fat and beautiful. So what if I was ugly. There is more purpose to my life than aiming to be visually pleasing. Nobody owes you the courtesy of being decent to look at.
The next time someone offers you a false compliment, you should explain to them why you don't appreciate it. If you're feeling rather benevolent you can even be nice about it. Maybe just a "actually, I'm fat AND pretty" or a "I'm not here to decorate your visual landscape" will do. How do you guys handle insincere compliments?
I hope you know you're beautiful and amazing just the way you are. I believe it!
black textured sweater, thrifted. oxblood skinnies and black boots, kmart. collar necklace, f21. glitter studs, shop in helen.