Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Beauty is Beauty

The other day my husband and I took a drive up in the mountains. We're very blessed to live so close to such beautiful scenery, which is only prettier this time of year with the golden light and the colorful leaves. Plus it's always nice to get out of the hustle and bustle of this city for a while and just take a breath.

I've been thinking a lot today about false compliments. If you're a fat girl, there's pretty much a 99% chance you know what I'm talking about here. You've heard the "you have such a pretty face" and "no, you're not fat, you're beautiful" and (my personal favorite) "there's just more of you to love!" In my opinion, the basic rule here is that true compliments do not have a conditional clause. No one looks at a gorgeous mountain view and says "sure is pretty for a rock." Of course not!

You look at a gorgeous mountain view and call it what it is-- beautiful. Compliments should work the same way. When you tell someone she's "not fat, she's beautiful" you are making the statement that those two things are mutually exclusive. That she cannot possibly be both fat and beautiful, because fat is in its very nature repulsive and lazy and whatever other negative connotations we're taught.

That's simply not the case. I am fat and beautiful, just like I'm also funny, happy, and smart. Stop telling people they have such "a pretty face"-- as if the rest of them isn't stunning too! If you can't give a sincere compliment that is one hundred percent genuine, then just keep your mouth shut. YES, that sounds mean, and YES, I mean it!

More than that you should understand that people do not exist just to give you something nice to look at. So what if I'm fat and beautiful. So what if I was ugly. There is more purpose to my life than aiming to be visually pleasing. Nobody owes you the courtesy of being decent to look at.

The next time someone offers you a false compliment, you should explain to them why you don't appreciate it. If you're feeling rather benevolent you can even be nice about it. Maybe just a "actually, I'm fat AND pretty" or a "I'm not here to decorate your visual landscape" will do. How do you guys handle insincere compliments?

I hope you know you're beautiful and amazing just the way you are. I believe it!

black textured sweater, thrifted. oxblood skinnies and black boots, kmart. collar necklace, f21. glitter studs, shop in helen.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Alternative Curves: Leader of the Pack

This is my first post as part of the Alternative Curves group, and I'm so excited! The theme this month is "Leader of the Pack," which I had a little trouble coming up with something for. Eventually I went with this look, which I think is kind of like 80s girl meets the Artful Dodger (yay Dickens!). I don't know how true to the theme that is, but hey! That's where my brain went.

I love that there is now a group for alternative style plus-size chicks. I don't consider myself to be exactly tough or hard or edgy, but I definitely think my style isn't exactly mainsteam. I gravitate toward things that are funky and fun, and I think that qualifies!

I got this dress for a steal at Old Navy while they were having a BOGO 50% off sale. It was a web exclusive that I guess someone had returned in store. Score for me!

I also have to tell you guys that I'm having a hard time writing this because my kitten, Aengus, wants to play fetch and he doesn't care that I'm writing. He has this little stuffed goldfish that he carries up onto the couch, drops next to me, and squeaks and meow-barks until I throw it. Which of course means he's gone exactly seven seconds before he comes trotting back with the thing, ready to go again. So I guess I'm not much of a pack leader, because I can't even handle my cats, haha!

If any of you are reading my blog for the first time from our blog hop, welcome! Please let me know in the comments, I'd love to hear from you!

triangle print jacket, f21+. long sleeve dress, old navy. teal felt hat and earrings, thrifted. heeled booties, ebay.